


Tea for Two (Plus a Few)

by garbage_dono



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Crack...kind of?, Fire Emblem: Three Houses Black Eagles Route, Humor, Love Confessions, M/M, They're dumbasses Brent, courting, tea time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-23
Updated: 2019-11-23
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:28:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21535237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/garbage_dono/pseuds/garbage_dono
Summary: Caspar and Linhardt enjoy a romantic afternoon tea together.It's less romantic when all of their classmates make an appearance.
Relationships: Caspar von Bergliez/Linhardt von Hevring, hints of Dorothea Arnault/Petra Macneary
Comments: 12
Kudos: 166





	Tea for Two (Plus a Few)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [gghero](https://archiveofourown.org/users/gghero/gifts).



> Based on [this mini comic](https://twitter.com/gghero_/status/1194913977689690112?s=20) by gghero.

"I assure you, Bernadetta," Ferdinand said with a wide smile, "The horses in the monastery stables are gentle giants. Even if they are warhorses, they are simply as sweet as can be!"

Bernadetta looked far from convinced, sighing as she followed alongside him down the path. She reached up to pick yet another stray piece of hay from her hair. "I'm telling you, they never liked me when I was a student. Every time I had stable duty I wound up in the mud."

"I seem to remember you foisted your stable duty off on me more than once." He offered her a wide grin, which only made her face turn even more pink. "N-not that I minded! I was always much more fond of stable duty than weeding…"

"And the horses loved you."

"Ah, but there is a secret to winning a stallion's love, Bernadetta."

"A secret?"

"Yes." He leaned in closer with a wink. "I happened to sneak my fair share of oats out of the kitchen pantry on more than one occasion."

"Y-you _what?_ "

"A handful of oats and a firm pat on the flank will win over any-" A giggle caught his attention, stopping him in his tracks. "Ah...did you hear that too? That sound just now?"

"Sound?" Bernadetta asked, pausing as she finally finished cleaning the hay from behind her ear. "What sound?"

"It sounded like it was coming from…" Brow pinched, lips pursed, Ferdinand leaned toward the bushes lining the path. " _Dorothea?_ "

" _Sssh!_ " Dorothea insisted, her voice low and urgent, and a moment later Ferdinand tumbled forward into the bush with a muted yelp. "Ferdie, _quiet._ "

"What are you-"

"I said quiet!" She grabbed Ferdinand's jaw, palm pressed against his chin and fingers comically smooshing his cheeks as she turned his face toward the courtyard on the other side of the hedges. " _Look._ "

There, beyond the scraggly branches and leaves, someone had set up for an afternoon tea. All of the accouterments were laid out on the table – scones, cookies, sliced fruit and candied nuts. Steam rose from a pair of teacups, and accompanying the generous spread, sitting opposite one another, were-

"Is that Caspar?" Bernadetta mused as she knelt on the grass behind Dorothea. "And…Linhardt?"

"It sure is," Dorothea giggled. "Petra noticed them first. And here I thought she'd started seeing things."

From over Dorothea's opposite shoulder, Petra nodded, smiling proudly. "I admit I also thought for a moment that I was having a…Dorothea, what was it that you called it?"

"A hallucination," Dorothea snorted. "I thought for sure that's what it had to be."

When she finally released Ferdinand from her grasp, he rubbed his cheeks. "And I presume there is a reason you are spying on them?"

"Oh come now, Ferdie – it's not every day you get to see young love in full bloom like this, is it?"

"Young…love?" Bernadetta breathed, eyes sparkling as she leaned over Ferdinand's chest far enough to press him into the branches. "Oh wow…you really think they're _courting?_ "

"All the more reason we should give them their privacy," Ferdinand insisted. "This is a private matter between two people who are trying to build a deep and sacred bond, and we should not-"

Ferdinand was promptly interrupted by a loud and unashamed _slurp._

"Oh no," he groaned, turning a little pale. "Caspar, what in the world are you _doing?_ "

"He is…drinking tea," Petra said plainly, but Ferdinand was almost on the verge of leaping straight out of the bushes then and there, if not for Dorothea holding him back.

"He is doing so _poorly,"_ he huffed. "There is an art to drinking tea in another person's company! Especially if it is a person you are striving to _woo-_ "

"Linhardt seems pretty wooed to me," Bernadetta said with a quiet giggle, nodding at the figure on the far side of the table. Linhardt sat with his chin resting on his open palm, his eyes half-lidded and a small, characteristically sleepy smile stretching his lips. "Or maybe he's just too tired to care about any…slurping."

"It is the _principle_ of the-"

"What in hell's name are you doing?" came a voice from outside the bushes.

"Is that Hubie?" Dorothea sighed. "Oh…Looks like our fun's over…"

But Ferdinand was grinning, looking triumphant as ever. "Hubert!" He leaned past Bernadetta, head popping out of the bushes to meet Hubert's eye. "Come here!"

" _Quietly,"_ Dorothea insisted again.

Hubert blinked. "You can't be serious."

"I am entirely serious!" Ferdinand told him.

"You want me to climb into the bushes with you."

"Yes!"

"Are you mad?"

Dorothea huffed, moving over to make room in the brush for him. "Hubie, just get _in here_ already!"

"I am _not_ going to-"

"Hubert just get in the damn bush!" Bernadetta squeaked.

He sighed, broad shoulders slumping under his cloak. No sooner had he knelt than Dorothea and Ferdinand grabbed him by the arms and tugged him under the cover of the brush. "Now that I've sufficiently stripped myself of my dignity," he muttered, brow pinched, "are you going to tell me what's going on?"

Instead of answering, Dorothea just nodded toward the table on the other side of the bushes again, muffling a giggle as Caspar shoved an entire scone into his mouth and Linhardt rolled his eyes and said something inaudible without ever losing his little smile.

" _Ugh,_ " Ferdinand huffed. "No, no, no – he's ruining everything!"

" _Ssssh!_ " Dorothea pressed her hand over his mouth before he could say another word. "For heaven's sake, Ferdie – it's like you're about to have a fit over bad table manners."

"I'm sure he's had a fit over less," Hubert said with a smirk.

Ferdinand leveled him with a half-hearted glare. "Surely I am not the only one who knows the importance of poise."

"We're huddled up in a bush spying on two people having tea. I'm certainly not above spying when the situation calls for it, but I hardly think anyone here is in a position to say a thing about _poise._ "

"Since when were Linhardt and Caspar…you know…together anyway?" Bernadetta asked as she craned her neck to peek over Hubert's shoulder. "I knew they were friends way before they ever came to the monastery, but I never realized they felt like that."

Petra shrugged. "In Brigid we have a saying – birds of the same feather fly together."

Hubert rose a brow. "Which means?"

"Perhaps they are…kindred spirits."

"I was under the impression that _kindred spirits_ tended to be _alike_ in some way, which is far from what I could ever say about those two."

An enigmatic little smile tugged on Petra's lips as she leaned in closer, hand brushing Dorothea's arm as she did. "Sometimes birds of different feathers flock together too."

Before even Dorothea could notice the faint splash of pink dusting her cheeks, Ferdinand let out a shocked little "Oh!" All eyes turned toward the couple just in time for Linhardt to reach out to take Caspar's hand, thumb brushing over his knuckles. Caspar's face had gone beet red, his eyes fixed on their hands, crumbs still dusting his lip.

"Oh wow," Dorothea sighed, "Come on Caspar – don't just sit there. Make a move already! I can't believe Lin of all people beat him to it…"

“What are you doing?”

The hedge was silent for a painfully long moment before Dorothea carefully glanced up to meet the emperor’s positively _befuddled_ eye and said, “I don’t suppose you’d like to join us, Edie?”

Edelgard blinked. “In the…”

“Do you possess even an ounce of common sense?” Hubert snapped, leveling Dorothea with a tired glare.

“Don’t get snippy with me, Hubie – it’s not like it took much convincing to get you to crawl in here with the rest of us.” She giggled. “And there’s a twig in your hair by the way.”

“ _Why_ are you-“ Edelgard pinched the bridge of her nose. “Now that I think of it…I don’t think I want to know what possessed all of you to-“

“Oh let them be, your majesty,” Linhardt drawled from the other side of the hedge. “It’s our fault they’re all hiding away in the bushes anyway. It’s actually been pretty entertaining.” He turned to Caspar again with a lazy smile. “To be honest, it might be the only thing keeping me from going completely crazy watching Caspar try to shovel so many pastries down his throat at once.”

“ _Hey,_ ” Caspar moaned.

“Ferdinand is right – you’re not very good at the art of _wooing._ ”

“I…thought we were doing a pretty good job of hiding,” Bernadetta offered.

Dorothea rolled her eyes. “Ferdie probably gave us away with all his talk about _poise_ and _manners._ ”

“I was perfectly discrete, thank you!”

“Hardly,” Hubert scoffed.

But Linhardt was already tipping his teacup back and downing the last of its contents before reaching out for Caspar’s hand. “If it’s all the same,” he said, “I think we’ll continue this elsewhere. Pretending not to notice all the constant chattering is getting exhausting.”

Caspar’s face darkened to the same deep red shade from just a few minutes before, his hand fiddling with the last few pastry crumbs on his plate. “B-but I wasn’t done with my…you know…whole…confession thing.”

“For what it’s worth, I did get the message.” His smile was a warm one, his fingers wrapping easily around Caspar’s knuckles. “But wouldn’t you rather finish telling me how madly in love with me you are in private?”

“Uh…”

“ _Love?_ ” Dorothea blurted. “Nobody said anything about love!”

“I did,” Linhardt answered with a wave. “Anyway, please don’t try and spy on us in my room next. If my intuition is right, that might be a bit more…indecent.”

“If you don’t mind,” Edelgard said, her tone edged with a barely concealed laugh, “Do you think you all could…” _Barely concealed_ became _poorly concealed_ as she pressed her palm over her lips and let out a quiet snort. “…get out of the bush?”

"So," Bernadetta mused, glancing at Dorothea as Ferdinand valiantly attempted to untangle Hubert's cloak from the branches, "What were you and Petra doing in the bushes in the first place?"

"Hunting for...squirrels," Petra said, a bit too quickly, as Dorothea's face turned scarlet up to her ears.

* * *

As they rounded the corner, Caspar leaned in close and gave Linhardt’s hand a squeeze. “So…indecent, huh?” He rose a brow. “How _indecent_ are we talking?”

Linhardt shot him a smirk. “As indecent as you’ll allow.” He brought Caspar’s knuckles to his lips. “My hope is _very._ ”

“Very…I can do very.”

“I thought you might say that.”


End file.
